Punderful stuff

Nearly twenty years ago, my brother Bob sent me an email titled "punderful stuff" listing 10 delightful puns.  While I have have heard puns described as the lowest form of humor, Bob's email included the following quote from James Alexander Thom (author of "Panther of the Sky") -- "The only ones who don't appreciate puns are those who aren't clever enough to come up with them."

Major David Cedervall is a Facebook friend of mine who is adept at puns and similar turns of phrase.   Today's posts include these thoughts:

• I thought I would share a cannibal joke, but then decided it would be in bad taste.
• A pun, when it reaches maturity, is fully groan.
• Saw John Deere coasters for sale Friday and thought about members of my wife's family who had worked at the John Deere factory by Waterloo, Iowa.  That company was proud of their products and stood behind every one of them ... except their manure spreaders.

While I found many instances of "linoleum blownapart" (including a web site by that name devoted to Napoleon stuff) on the internet, I could not find this precise listing that Bob sent in 1997.  So, typed for your reading pleasure --

1. What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France?  Linoleum blownapart.
2. A city in Alaska passed a law outlawing all dogs.  It became known as Dogless Fairbanks.
3. Which famous golfer loves to drink wine?  Litter Vino.  (Anyone old enough to remember Lee Trevino?)
4. A man goes to a dermatologist with a rare skin disease.  The doctor says, "Try a milk bath."  So the guy goes to the grocery store and tells the dairy manager he needs enough milk to take a bath.  The dairy guy asks, "You want that pasteurized?"  "Nah," the man replies, "Up to my chin should do it."
5. What's the difference between an angry circus owner and a Roman barber?  One is a raving showman, and the other is a shaving Roman.
6. In ancient Rome, deli workers (Really, Bob?  A deli in ancient Rome?) were told that they could eat anything they wanted during the lunch hour.  Anything, that is, except the smoked salmon.  Thus were created the world's first anti-lox breaks.
7. Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?  Both crews were marooned.
8. Why did the maharishi refuse novocaine when he had his tooth pulled?  He wanted to transcend dental medication.
9. Did you hear about the two men from the monastery who opened a fast-food seafood restaurant?  One was the fish friar, the other was the chip monk.
10. A scientist cloned himself but the experiment created a duplicate who used very foul language. As the clone cursed and swore, the scientist finally pushed it out the window, and it fell to its death.  Later the scientist was arrested for making an obscene clone fall.