A little silliness

Two silly stories from 1997 sent to me by my brother Bob.  The first is on-line with a copyright date of 1998 Noted doughboy dies.  The second was attributed to an April 7, 1996 Ann Landers column.  I have found several versions of it on-line and also found an AP piece by Jean Heller in the New York Daily News dated June 4, 1972 that carries a few more faux legislation titles attributed to Dick Pence.  The article is titled "Stennis, Anyone?" and can be found here

NOTED DOUGH BOY DIES

     Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years.
     Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies.       The Graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy. describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded".
     Fresh rose quicky in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schenes, Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions.
     Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven.

Stennis, anyone?

     From the Honolulu Advertiser more than 20 years ago as printed in Ann Landers, Sunday, April 7, 1996 (slightly rephrased) - 

      Senators William B. Spong of Virginia and Hiram Fong of Hawaii sponsored a bill recommending the mass ringing of church bells to welcome the arrival in Hong Kong of the U.S. Table Tennis Team after its tour of Communist China.
      The bill failed to pass, cheating the Senate out of passing the Spong-Fong Hong Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong Bell Bill.

Other faux legislation from 1972:  the Bible-Church-Chappel-Bell-Tower Prayer Amendment; the Cannon-Towell Keep America Clean Bill; the Scherle-Ketchem Police Assistance Bill; the Butler-Baker-Cook Household Employees Wage Bill; the Hunt-Heinz-Pickle-Pepper Food Additive Bill; the Young-Aiken-Hart-Case Daytime Television Standards Bill.