The Good Old Days

In this era of instantaneous communication, 'text speak,' etc. it is sometimes hard to remember what things were like when one typed a letter, mailed it, and awaited the typed reply a week or so later.  In those days, urgent messages were sent by telegraph.  (Are fax machines obsolete yet?  I remember when they were supposed to eliminate the time lapse of snail mail.)

Email makes it easy to cut and paste, so the message remains virtually unchanged from IHQ to NHQ to THQ to DHQ to the Corps Officer.  Here's what some wag suggested things were like in the good old days.

The Salvation Army in the Good Old Days

The story goes that in 1910 the Army chain of command worked like this:

The General issued the following directive to the National Commander, USA:  "Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will be visible in the area, an event which occurs only once every 76 years.  Have the comrades assemble at Yankee Stadium in full regulation uniform and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them.  In case of rain, we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the comrades in Memorial Temple [editor's note - I know that the CMT was not built until 1930, but remember that the name of this blog is "Humor Me!"] and I will show them a film of this."

National Commander to the Territorial Commander - "By order of the General, tomorrow at 2000 hours Halley's Comet will appear above Yankee Stadium.  If it rains, fall the soldiers out in full regulation uniform, then march them into the Memorial Temple where the rare phenomenon will take place, something which occurs only every 76 years."

Territorial Commander to the Chief Secretary - "By order of the National Commander, in full regulation uniform at 2000 hours tomorrow evening the phenomenal Halley's Comet will appear in Yankee Stadium.  In case of rain in the Memorial Temple, the National Commander will give another order, one which occurs every 76 years."

Chief Secretary to the Field Secretary - "Tomorrow at 2000 hours, the National Commander will appear in Yankee Stadium with Halley's Comet, something which happens every 76 years.  If it rains, the National Commander will order the comet into the Memorial Temple."

Field Secretary to Divisional Commanders - "When it rains tomorrow at 2000 hours, the phenomenal 76-year old General Halley, accompanied by the National Commander, will drive his comet through the Memorial Temple in his full regulation uniform."