You know you're Salvation Army when ...

I was in a group of recipients of an email from a Cadet in 1998 under the subject of this post.  (The date was early June.  He may have sent it just before his Commissioning.)

There are too many to share them all, so I'm sharing my favorites.

You know you're Salvation Army when ...

• you start naming your kids Bramwell or Evangeline.
• you make your kid get a receipt for a lollipop.
• a telephone call in May makes your palms sweat.
• your DC will be in OOB; the HL is without SB or GG because SLC is open; the DYS is with the GS who is POW while eating only BK or McDLTs; that means the CFC is MIA and, FYI, the CC is meeting without the CO to discuss the O & R and criticize your SOP.  So you Farewell PDQ.
• your neighbors leave used clothes on your doorstep.
• you wear black socks with shorts and sandals.
• toll collectors give you a receipt without your even asking.
• the homeless throw you a quarter.
• the kid at McDonald's asks you if you'll be having the usual.
• your voice mail has "God Bless You" in it.
• people don't recognize you out of uniform.
• you have to get approval to go on vacation.
• you say, "just now" instead "now," as in "just now, as you hear the music, come forward ..."
• you know what a Dispo is.
• your first name is Lieutenant, Captain or Major.
• you have preached a sermon to only two people.
• you are the dry cleaners' biggest customer.

My kids would probably add one to the list:  You know your parents are officers when you expect to take your date to the Prom in a fifteen passenger van.